Memoirs of a Fat guy.

Let's just point out the elephant in the room. I'm fat. Probably fatter than the elephant. In fact I'm so fat, that the last time I flew on Southwest, the plane was full, except for two seats...right next to me. I don't feel bad about being fat either. The fact is, I love being fat. When you're fat, there's less pressure to look good. You can eat whatever you want, wear sweatpants in public, have Velcro shoes as an adult. Go crazy! It's okay, you're fat. When you are fat, not much is expected from you physically. I rarely got the call to help someone move; climbing up and down ladders is someone else's job. Nobody wants to see a fat guy fall, no matter how funny it is. And who doesn't love to have a funny, fat guy around? Heck, John Belushi and Chris Farley, two of my heroes, made a living from being that guy.
I've always been fat, despite what my mother says. I remember having to get size 28 Husky jeans when I was a kid. The first time I had to buy pants as an adult (18-19) I asked where the Husky section was. The lady looked at me like I had two heads. Then I started laughing and told her about always having to buy husky pants as a kid. I don't really think she cared all that much. Come to think of it, I should call her manager and report her for being so rude.
When people call me fat, it doesn't really hurt my feelings. It is something that I accepted as fact, like having blonde hair, or driving a red car. There really should be no offense, because it is fact.
Not only did I love being a fat guy, I reveled in it. "Never trust a skinny chef" became my mantra. I even named my pizza shop Fat Daddy's Pizzeria. Being fat was as much a part of my persona as it was my physique.
Over the course of a few years, I went from being fat to being the O word. And morbidity came along with it. Being fat was one thing, but obese?! When I think obese, I think the mom in 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' fat. I think of getting the wall cut out of your house to get to the doctor fat. Not me. I'm what I call a 'functioning fat guy.' I always knew I was fat, and that's okay, but I was never willing to accept that I was morbidly obese. Things change. Sometimes in a hurry.
After Barret was born, and he started scooting around, I was sitting on a dining room chair in the living room. Barret had scooted under the chair and had gotten stuck or something. Nothing serious, but he started to cry. I reached down to get him, and I couldn't bend down enough to pick up my son. I had to stop, stand up and stoop down to get him. At that moment, truth became reality for me, and I decided that I had to stop lying to myself. I was obese. I did have a problem, that I needed REAL help with. I had to accept that it wasn't normal to wear 5X clothes and to wear tee shirts and basketball shorts for every occasion. It wasn't healthy or normal to sit and eat a dozen tacos from Jack in the Box, or drink gallons of soda. It wasn't normal to face a life of mediocrity because I couldn't fulfill all the things I wanted to do. My weight was my handicap, and it had become my prison. I didn't want to face a life of diabetes, pain, early onset heart disease and stroke. Something had to change. I had to break the cycle of my habits, before they broke me. I had to stop lying to myself, and start being truthful.
I sought out medical advice.
Dr. Fox is a general surgeon who specializes in Bariatric patients. We talked about all treatment options: diets, surgery, nutritionists. In the end, after consulting with Dr. Fox and my very good friend and adviser Dr. Jeremy Swain, we decided on surgery as the best option based on the amount of weight that I have to lose. The only dissenting vote was from the good Dr Pepper, whom I still consider a close friend, we just don't visit as often any more.
So begins my last week as a fat guy. On Friday, March 29, 2013, at 10:00 in the morning I will become a recovering fat guy. Abstractly, I will always be a fat guy at heart, but I am choosing a healthy lifestyle from now on.
If one can take anything from this, it's to stop lying to yourselves. Stop believing that you can't change whatever it is about you that is holding you back. You can break the cycle. You can change your life. Change your paradigm. Don't wait. Start today. Don't wait until you have to lose 220 proverbial pounds. Life is waiting for you.